There are some things in life that you can control and some that you can't. It's a reality of life. During my thirty years of counseling and/or advising thousands of individuals as to how to make the most beneficial life choices, I've seen way too many individuals make diminishing, destructive, and/or self-sabotaging life choices because they worried about the things and variables that they couldn't control, and they didn't focus---or lost focus---on controlling the things that they could.
One of the Core Concepts of Life-Choice Psychology is: You have the ability to control your reasoning and evaluative processes, your choices, and your actions---as long as you master the potentially toxic emotions, urges, and impulses that can cloud or totally dismantle your reasoning processes and best judgment at life choice-making time, or Crunch Time! On the other hand, if you don't take control of your potentially toxic emotions, urges, and impulses, you are far more likely to (once again) make a destructive and/or self-sabotaging life choice, which you will thereafter act out. So mastering your potentially toxic emotions, urges, and impulses is essential. It's your imperative!
If making highly beneficial life choices is important to you, let’s discuss Life-Choice Psychology.
Life-Choice Psychology is a conscious, calculated, and constructive means of thinking, reasoning, valuing, and living. It is a highly strategic, analytic methodology with the explicit goals of enabling and empowering you to fully and positively self-actualize, and thereby reach your fullest and greatest potential.
Life-Choice Psychology is optimistic and positive; witness the content of the words that comprise its title:
Life and good physical, mental, and emotional health are precious gifts to be made the very most of and cherished. They are blessings that aren't guaranteed for any length of time to anyone. As a result, they are to be appreciated, preserved, and enhanced through the choices that we make. Through making constructive life choices, you make the very most of your genetic endowment; your environment; and your intellectual, psychological, emotional, and physical gifts and well-being…and therefore your life! All beautiful things!
Choice: By its very nature, our ability to have and make small and large choices is in every sense of the words freeing and empowering—as you truly are able, in many instances, to determine your destiny. Unlike animals who do not have the capability to think about, reason through, and evaluate data and options, you have the freedom and the ability to chart the course of your life through the truly great choices that you have the opportunity to make throughout each day. These life-changing and life-enhancing choices are your gifts and blessings, and you can joyfully seize them! Carpe Diem!
You can choose to put your life on a (far) better course, starting from whenever you are intellectually, emotionally, and psychologically ready to study and master the art of making great life choices.
Psychology is defined in the Merriam Webster Dictionary as "the study of mind and behavior in relation to a particular field of knowledge or activity." Life-Choice Psychology involves the study of the intellectual and emotional components of life-choice making, as well as the behaviors that directly result from these choices. It also involves taking conscious and constructive ownership of your life-choice-making processes. So, this endeavor is not only truly self-deterministic, but it is also empowering , as well as core-confidence and self-esteem-building—Once again, all wonderful, life-affirming gifts.
Some of the essential Core Concepts of Life-Choice Psychology ("LCP") are:
LCP recognizes the cognitive in addition to the all-important emotional component of life-choice making, as you can astutely know and envision—during calm and clear moments—what you want to secure with a life choice; however, when your best judgment and your reasoning and evaluative processes are clouded or dismantled by your emotions, urges, and impulses, you can often make a self-sabotaging or self-destructive life choice. This frequently happens when we opt for a quick-fix choice and we then act in order to temporarily assuage a need, an impulse, or some pain or hurt. Therefore, LCP calls for you to study and give due regard to both the intellectual and emotion-based components of life-choice making, as they are both key elements of beneficial life-choice making.
LCP is a conscious, cognitive, calculated strategic process and art.
LCP is proactive, as you seize ownership of your life and its path rather than merely being a reactive victim of life and its often daunting challenges.
Emotions aren’t good or bad per se; negative or positive. It all depends upon what behavior an emotion and the energy charges that it generates triggers. It is that behavior that is either constructive and positive; or non-constructive and/or destructive.
Similarly, for the most part, it is not the process of experiencing an emotion that can result in positive or negative things happening in your life; it is the expression of that emotion—the act that the emotion triggers—that is either positive or negative.
Talent alone is merely unrealized potential. The choices that you make along your life’s journey will determine whether you make the very most of your talents.
Consistently making great life choices leads to your developing valid, core feelings of high self-esteem and self-worth. These feelings, in turn, lead you to make more and more life-enhancing decisions, because you feel that you and your future are worth making great life choices for. Conversely, when you make a series of negative, self-sabotaging or destructive life choices, you develop (or continue to develop) feelings of low self-esteem and self-worth. You can also cause your core confidence to significantly diminish, so that you feel as though you cannot truly and positively change the course of your life. This leads to debilitating feelings of frustration, deep unhappiness, and hopelessness.
LCP embraces open, honest, non-defensive examination of past life choices. If the choice resulted in your attaining Your Gold—what you want to secure in life—and/or brought you closer to living Your Truth—the kind of person you truly aspire to be—you should celebrate and savor a life choice well made. This celebratory process raises your feelings of self-esteem and core confidence to make many more life-enhancing choices in the future. However, if you have had a past life-choice-making faux pas, non-defensively study what could have been done better and differently, then decide what you will do better when a similar life-choice opportunity comes your way in the future. Then move on—guilt- and regret-free. As human beings, we all make mistakes. The keys are to avoid making too many mistakes; repeating your mistakes; and making mistakes when the stakes are the greatest. Take heart: Mistakes are a necessary and highly constructive part of your learning process and life journey, and when dealt with constructively, they are a necessary, constructive first step to making highly beneficial life choices in the future.
Life choices are like train tracks: Trains go where the tracks take them. The quality of your life, your well-being, and your core confidence to effect positive change in your life will be the result of your life choices. So treat your choices preciously and with respect.
LCP focuses a great deal on your identifying your Personal Emotional Triggers™ (or PETS™). These are the things, events, people, goals, emotions, urges, dreams, etc. that move and/or motivate you THE very most; as a result they generate the most potent set of energy charges within you. It is these supremely powerful energy charges that you can bundle, channel, and use to override, overpower, and thereby negate the (set of) less potent energy charges generated by potentially destructive/sabotaging emotions. As a result, at life-choice-making time—or Crunch Time!—your reasoning and evaluative processes are clear. You can then use your very best judgment to make a life choice that is consistent with Your Gold and Your Truth—that is, a life choice that reflects and effects what you truly want in and for your life, and the person you aspire to be.
LCP is true self-help in that you can decide that you’re ready to lift the quality of your life and your self-esteem by the beneficial life choices you will make. It is in your power to identify your past life choice-making missteps and toxic, life-damaging scripting. It is in your power to identify your PETS™ (Your Personal Emotional Triggers™) and channel them into your carefully crafted frames and visuals---your Frisual.™ (Your Frisual is your strategically-crafted verbal framing and visualization of the life choice before you, which will inevitably lead you to make a positive life choice that reflects and effects your current---and therefore your most highly-valued Gold and Truth.) It is in your power to continually mine your Gold and Truth throughout your life, so as to insure that you will continue over-time to bundle and channel your most supremely potent PETS into your Frisuals. As a direct result, you will be empowered to make constructive life choices throughout the rest of your life, as your very strongest motivations to do so remain intact. (Please see my book, “Your Killer Emotions: The 7 Steps to Mastering the Toxic Emotions, Urges, and Impulses That Sabotage You.” [Greenleaf Book Group Press, January, 2013] )
Finally, LCP is optimistic! Its foundation is the belief and conviction that no matter how challenging, or dark your life is, you can take positive ownership of and truly lift the quality of your life and your feelings of self-esteem and self-worth by making constructive life choices---with crystal clear cognitive precision---free of potentially sabotaging emotions.